Almost everyone (with the hopeful exception of my married and committed readers) has or has had a dating app on their phones. If you haven’t, I will give you a brief preview. You put up photos and a little blurb about yourself that will hopefully capture the eye of the hottie that you saw pop up a few days ago. If you are not a fan, you swipe left. If you like what you see, you swipe right. It’s a simple to make a choice, huh?
The motion becomes almost mindless. Swipe right. Swipe left. Swipe left. Swipe left. Oooh. Definitely right. Oooh. Definitely left. Swipe right. Swipe left. Match. Creepy message. Block. Back to swiping.
Just some food for thought: If you popped up on your own dating profile… would you swipe right? What if there were no pictures and it was all based on your personality traits and qualities? Would you choose yourself? If your answer is no, maybe it’s time to focus on what would make you “swipe right” to yourself and start working towards that.
This post is not about dating websites or relationship advice. You can be thankful about that because I can’t promise the validity of that advice.. instead I want to talk about your choices. The choices that you make in life define the person that you are. The person that you were. And the person that you are going to be.
Making a choice can be scary. I mean, I get it, I shutter at the thought of having to make the choice of a restaurant for dinner. But, if we wake up everyday and just float through the motions (like we are mindlessly looking through an app) we are not able to take control of our lives. Without that control or commitment to a goal it is almost impossible to get where you are trying to go. You have to be intentional.
Making choices gets much simpler whenever you know what your goal is. If you are trying to get in a better place financially, it is easier to turn down buying a new shirt or dinner at an expensive restaurant. If you want to start running a faster mile, it is easier to lace up your shoes and go run whenever you get off work. If you don’t have a clearly defined goal in mind, it is easy to shift into overdrive and just coast because you aren’t aiming for something. Who wants to just coast through life? I would not swipe right to that.
Part of being intentional with your actions is making the choice to do something every single day. Every morning when I wake up I choose to keep a promise to myself and do everything in my power to make the right choices to stay in line with my goals. With that being said, every day is not a perfect day. There have been numerous times that I have gotten halfway through a bag of chips (Ruffles Cheddar & Sour Cream so you know what I’m working with here) before I even felt a tinge of guilt. Or it’ll be 9pm and I’m still pretending like I’m gonna make it to the gym that day. It’s okay to make a mistake and slip up. And I mean sometimes splurging can even be good for your progress, but not following through with anything is not okay. Sticking with the theme of dating, you’re just cheating yourself.
The life that I live now is not the life that comes naturally to me. I didn’t just wake up one day and decide I was gonna be Workout Barbie with an affinity for cardio. I could slip back into my old patterns any day, so I have to wake up each morning and make a choice about the path that my day is going to follow. My morning mantra to myself is somewhere along the lines of, “You’ve worked too hard and for too long to let it all go now. You’ve prepped the food, packed the gym bag, and have a bottle of cold water in the fridge. All the hard work is done so now you just have to choose to follow through.” And just like that, my choice is made. Like I said, I’m not a saint, so if you see me with the bag of chips politely take them from my hands. Unless it’s Saturday… because then it is a part of my cheat meal celebration and that bag of chips is totally intentional.
You should be making a choice every morning whenever you wake up. These choices don’t have to be can’t-eat, can’t-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of decisions… they just need to be something that works for you! And please someone tell me that they got the Mary-Kate and Ashley “It Takes Two” reference there?
Your choices should:
- Be in line with whatever goal you are trying to achieve. If you’re starting each day pursuing something that you don’t want…. well that just doesn’t make much sense now does it?
- Be adaptable. If something is no longer working for you, change it. It’s as simple as that. Make the choice that is right for you. You just have to be willing to make the choice to change it. For example, I used to get up at 5am and go to the gym before work. I just felt like it was the best way to jump start my day. WRONG! It was literally making me miserable and I was ready for bed at 3:30pm. I made a choice to change to afternoon workouts and I am now happily ready for bed at 9pm with much more energy throughout the day.
- Be obtainable. I’m talking about small choices that happen each day that make a huge difference. I am not talking about waking up every morning and making the choice to be a millionaire that day. (But, if you figure out how to do that please send me a private message.) Your choices shouldn’t be overwhelming or anxiety-ridden, if you feel like they are refer to point #2. If you feel like you can’t reach your goal (safely) and you have made the choice to do things that are outside of your grasp, it may be time to reassess.
Waking up each day and making choices can be really hard when you feel like you are not deserving of the results. This comes full circle back to self-love and picking yourself. If you feel that this applies to you, and it’s okay if it does, I want to challenge you to make some of your goals or daily choices to focus on loving yourself. You may not believe it right now and you may not believe it next week, but I will tell you one thing I have learned through this whole process is that you are indeed deserving.
Build up and work on your life like you would build up your dating profile. Find the perfect balance between work, play, and health. Be authentic and real. Because, above all else, you deserve to get the best version of yourself. And at the end of the day, don’t you want to be able to say that you chose to swipe right?